There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
