Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
