ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
