there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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