..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
