After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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