The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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