Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
