I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
