I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Princesses don't give blow jobs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
