He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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