I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to have your abortion
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
