Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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