When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
