we have pet lesbian snakes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
