Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
false alarm, still single
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
