i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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