# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
