? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
