I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
