don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
