I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
