just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My dick has a subreddit
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
