69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
