Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Ketchup is God's man juice
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize