never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
