Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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