I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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