Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
