your parents love me but you hate me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
