I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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