I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize