It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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