Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
