U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
