This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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