i would punch a child for taco bell
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
