He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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