there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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