Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just tell him i said nine months
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
