it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
