in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
