how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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