Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
