Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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