don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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