you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
