My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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