first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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