i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
