Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You are the jesus of drinking
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
