spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
